IWSG – New Years Resolutions

It’s January, and that’s the time to make new goals and to give yourself new resolution. Not only that, it’s the time of the year when people rest after lots of stressful holiday planning, and lots of gift-giving, and lots and lots of family interaction. It’s a time to retrace out steps, refresh ourselves with our successes and failures of the last year, and to plan out a new strategy.

Which, of course, means it’s time to break out all those old snacks and eat them already!

All joking aside, January, and new years in specific, are a very stressful time for me. I often find myself falling prey to my anxiety. In fact, I spent the entirety of the day of new years eve plagued by anxiety so intense that I literally couldn’t do anything other than  surf the internet. I had to fight myself for two hours to get out of bed. I was litereally paralyzed with fear at the thought of making plans and preparing for the new year. I couldn’t think of anything else.

Of course, it was silly, but when one lives with depression and anxiety, silly things tend to make your day worse. So, I ended up spending new years cowering, rather than partying. It was the lowest point I’ve ever experienced in my life. Okay, well, maybe not THE lowest. But it sure felt like it at the time.

Fully recovered now, I feel as though I have to work harder, to try and set up plans, so that if I feel like that again, at least I’ll have time to recover without also neglecting everything I’ve set up. Plus, with my medicaid now, I can afford the medicine that’ll help manage it. That will be nice too.

Basically, Finding ways to fill in for the gaps in my motivation and mental illnesses is first and foremost in my mind. I’m going to be attempting a lot this year, what with going back to school, and trying to save up, and I have to make sure that I don’t slack on anything. Which can be very difficult. Holding myself to a higher level is hard.

For anyone else who suffers through this, I wish I could tell you everything turns out okay. I wish I could take over for you when your illnesses kick in. I wish I could say that there was something to look forward to, a day when all of it would end and you’re capable of doing what needs to be done. For anyone else who suffers through this, I can only say, you’re amazing. I know you are, because I am, and I’m stronger than I think I am. I know you’re strong too.

If you want to see other posts like this, other posts from writers struggling with these sorts of feelings, go to the Insecure Writers Support Group. We’re all friends there, and I know we’ll welcome you too!

We're here for you.

5 comments to IWSG – New Years Resolutions

  • Michelle Wallace  says:

    Hi Nicohle.
    Holding yourself to a higher level may be hard, but the resolve to do so is half the battle won. 🙂
    Yes, you are stronger than you think you are! Believe it!
    We tend to ‘short-change’ ourselves, failing to realise that we are capable of so much more…
    Chin up. Stay strong.

    Michelle@Writer In Transit
    January Co-host.

  • Alex J. Cavanaugh (@AlexJCavanaugh)  says:

    Mental illness is a tough thing to battle but not impossible. Despite your New Year’s Eve setback, sounds like you’ve mapped out a plan for the future that will keep you going.
    And if I didn’t make it by last month, welcome to the IWSG.

    • Nicohle Christopherson  says:

      Thank you for the welcome! I actually joined a year or so ago, but during my hiatus I put everything off, which sadly included IWSG. I missed it, and I’m really glad I could come back to it now.

  • cluculzwriter  says:

    Thanks for visiting my blog, Nicohle. I now understand why you got me. And I bet you already know that I get you. Well, look at us: two people who have never met, probably never will, but they get each other. That’s an awesome way to start the new year. Blessings to you. I’ll be back.

    • Nicohle Christopherson  says:

      Any time! Thank you for visiting mine! And I can’t agree more, new friends made is the best way to start the new year. I wish you all the best, and hope to see more of you!

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