Today, I found out grave news. Robin Williams is dead. A comedian, an actor, a legend, and he died. To be completely honest, it felt like the passage of some great age. It reminded me that anyone, at any time can die. It reminded me that death is the only certain thing in this world. And it reminded me of immortality, and all the ways we can acheive it.
Robin Williams touched millions of lives. More than he ever knew. And the man, that poor, poor man, was suffering silently inside, maybe for years. Who knows how long he fought off the demons of his mind, telling him it was better to end it now. To get out. To be done. I know how hard it is, to have those demons whispering in your ear. Depression is a serious illness. One that doesn’t have a cure. One that stays with you forever. Robin Williams was bipolar, and part of bipolar is depression.
Thinking about how he died, thinking about what he must have gone through… Makes me wonder, just a little, what I’m doing all of this for. What I want to be a writer for. What I want from life. It makes me think that maybe, just maybe, my goal is selfish. My goal has always been to be a household name. I want to be immortal, in the only way humans can achieve.
But if someone like Robin Williams can feel that that isn’t enough… What is it that I will find, once my goal is achieved? Once I have the recognition I crave, once my books are on the english highschool reading list, or on Oprah’s reading list, or whatever it takes, what will I have? Hearing Mister William’s story, reminds me of one of his quotes.
I am lucky. Because I have friends who love me. I have family that cares. I am lucky, and I hope, forever, that I am lucky, and do not fall to the same temptation and fear that Robin did. He was a great man, and it is so, so sad, that he suffered as he did. I hope, sincerely, to ever be able to touch as many hearts as he did. And I hope, that like him, I use it for good. To make others laugh. To make them smile. To help them learn. Rest in peace, Mr. Williams. You will always be in our hearts.