This is a really hard post to write. Recently, my anxiety lead me to lose my job. This lead to an extreme downswing in my depression. A lot of my self-worth is tied into how I can support myself, and it’s very hard to have any self-worth at all, when you know you are the cause of losing your own job. I can’t blame the work. It was exactly what I was told, and knew, to expect. All I can blame is this disease in my head that makes it impossible to pick up a phone without my heart beating terribly fast.
This should have been a triumphant month for me. I finally finished Knight of Kuryle, and I’m in the editing stage, before I can give it to beta readers. However, because of my downswing, I have had no energy for anything other than basic survival. There have been days where I cannot get dressed. There have been days I have eaten only one meal. My job search has turned up one part time, temporary position.
I have been plagued with doubts. How am I going to keep my apartment? How am I going to keep from inconveniencing those I care about? How am I going to get food? These are things that circle in my mind.
First Book of the Kurylian Saga: 1.5 sections rewritten –
- Knight of Kuryle – 31,379 words – Draft complete – Editing started
Kaimi Rowe Series: Seeker Born – Rough Draft – Restarted w/new concept
- Snippet can be seen in Bruises and Broken Bones
An Asexual’s Guide to Dating – Outlined – one section handwritten
None finished this week, sadly. Would love to see some reccomendations for this one!
Edit Knight of Kuryle
Two more blog posts for this blog this week!
Start The Prince by Machiavelli