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Surprise Midnight Dumpster Diving

  • Posted on January 22, 2015 at 3:04 am

I’m writing this as I sit in contented glow on my nice warm couch, gazing upon the red glint of my new vaccuum cleaner. It’s handle is snapped, wrapped in layers of duct tape and masking tape, as it to hold on by a single thread that last hope, and even that didn’t save it from the dumpster in which I found it. It sits next to my movies now, it’s permanent home, where it will clean my couches in peace.

This is but one of the joys I discovered tonight, during a round of Surprise Midnight Dumpster Diving. This is what I’ve come to name the odd event that happened to me. After bicycling home at 10:00pm, in 19 degrees farenheit, from my six hour shift (which I took in four inch heels, take that.), I had found myself in front of dumpster diving youtube videos. I honestly have no idea how I got there, maybe from a beauty tutorial, who knows. But the important thing is the next string of thought that entered my mind.

“I have friends who dumpster dive.” followed by “I know the Sally’s Beauty supply is closed right now.” quickly tucking into “I should text them and see if sometime this week we can go dumpster diving at Sally’s Beauty.”

Their reply was a little unexpected. “Do you want to go tonight?” Well, my next shift isn’t until 2pm tomorrow, so… WHY NOT.

So me and my friends, a married couple who have fallen on hard times recently, head out in the (rapidly falling) chill, to rifle through companies dumpsters in hopes of finding good things. I didn’t find that makeup I had hoped for, but I did find a nice milk crate, a few generous shoe boxes, of which my plants will be thankful for, they could use a boost towards the sun, and that lovely vaccuum.

Now all of this would be just another fun night on the town, had it not been for a conversation I found myself having. You see, recently, I’ve been suffering from a feeling of expiration. I’ve read somewhere that a woman is at her peak beauty at 25 years old. And after that, well? It all falls downhill. This has plagued me, tormented me, for quite a while. I don’t know why. I know I’m intelligent, and I know that I have so many more things to offer the world than my pretty face, but still! It really bugged me!

And while talking with my friends, they helped me realise this one, very, very important fact.

I am not milk, which sours on some predetermined date.

I am wine, which grows more rich and flavorful with every passing moment.

Cinderella

  • Posted on April 3, 2014 at 12:29 pm

The dress Aunt Eugenia held out to her was sparkling and blue and made of layers upon layers of such light material that it looked like glass or moonlight. It felt like silk under Ella’s fingers, and the tiny pearls sewn along the off-shoulder-neckline drew a soft breath of awe from her. She swallowed, and when she turned her eyes up to her godmother’s face, all she saw was pride and joy.

“It was your mothers. She wore it to her prom, you see, when she was only a few years younger than you are now.” Aunt Eugenia explained, smoothing the dress over Ella’s chest, as if to press it onto her. “Now, get dressed, and we’ll do something about your hair and makeup, too. After all, we’ve got a prince to catch, don’t we?” She winked, not surprised by Ella’s blush.

It was like a dream, Aunt Eugenia swooping in like this, and taking Ella away from her dreary nine to five call center job. She’d known that her godmother was rich, that she didn’t spend much time in the US, but this was different. Something… Something strange was happening, but Ella really couldn’t understand it. The dress flowed like water down her frame, her latin-brown skin complimented and turned to caramel next to the blue of it. Looking in her Aunt’s full length mirror showed her a curvy woman in a gown far too sumptuous for her.

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